i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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