My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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