it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
