Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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