she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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