marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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