Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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