So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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