I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
