Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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