cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
