just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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