my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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