are you still at the devil's house?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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