this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
