those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
