she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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