How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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