I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
