Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
