I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
