Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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