I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
