Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
