I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
