defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
