do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
