Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize