I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
