Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
