break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
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Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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