Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
