The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I enjoy the company of your penis
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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