sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
