i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that's an acceptable place to lick
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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