out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
