This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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