i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
