One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
