You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
