Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
