I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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