Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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