I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
