Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
