I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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