Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
