He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
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GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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