My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
