Are we in a gay sports bar?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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