i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
