Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
