youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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