scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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