hell yes lets make some ravioli
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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