I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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