Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
