I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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