Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
