My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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