I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
