So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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